A FILM BY

Returning to a compromised teenage romance could be easier.

DANIAL GONDAL

A proof of concept short film about a transman and a hijabi try returning to their tragic teenage romance successful as adults.

Inayat, a hijab-wearing cis woman, and Abdullah, a trans man, meet after ten years and try to make their teenage romance sustain cultural pressures. They have little time to address their differences- she's getting married to Musa this weekend.

In the middle of top surgery, I was told I stopped breathing. In that hazy period between being slightly awake, but not sure if my tired body would ever come to life, I did see something. I remembered someone from my childhood moments after praying together. What I saw seemed fit and only possible to consider as a dream. Up until this point, I had been prepared to live my life away from the culture I grew up in. I had an attachment to some songs, but interacting with anyone I knew before my transition seemed too painful to imagine.

But I was fine with this image being the last one I had before I passed. It was a moment without judgement or being considered too different to fit in. I woke up and started listening to Bollywood songs. When I recovered from surgery, I experienced life while finally passing. I had the attention I wanted, but memories of the surgery intervened like intrusive thoughts and it affected how much I wanted to continue with my plans.

I eventually found out this person was getting married and I wasn’t invited. After all, it was twelve years since we met. Bullhe Shah was outcast by his family when he chose to study with Inayat. As part of the Syed family, Bullhe Shah’s lineage is tied to the Prophet Muhammad. Bullhe’s had written of his siblings thinking it beneath Bullhe to study with Inayat, a gardener and part of the Arian tribe. Bullhe Shah writes that his caste is of Inayat’s: “Those who have the swings in heaven laid for them.”

A few thoughts went through my mind and “Queer Khalifa” was born. I wrote a feature length version of the screenplay shortly after. It was a second rounder in the Austin Film Festival Screenplay in 2021 Competition and a semi-finalist in The Script Lab 2021 and Atlanta Film Festival Screenplay 2022 Competitions.

The short is a proof of concept for the feature, which one day arrive on the silver screen.

On the
Origin

Bullhe Shah was outcast by his family when he chose to study with Inayat. As part of the Syed family, Bullhe Shah’s lineage is tied to the Prophet Muhammad. Bullhe’s had written of his siblings thinking it beneath Bullhe to study with Inayat, a gardener and part of the Arian tribe. Bullhe Shah writes that his caste is of Inayat’s: “Those who have the swings in heaven laid for them.” Inayat had decided not to speak to Bullhe Shah after a social transgression which seemed classist. Inayat’s nephew was in Bullhe’s village, but Bullhe could not meet him because he spent the day at a relative’s wedding. The impression was that Bullhe was ashamed to interact with those outside his caste.

Bullhe was torn. Knowing that Inayat liked the dances women performed outside the mosque, Bullhe requested transgender women to teach him the dance. Bullhe spent what some say was twelve years living in a brothel learning the dance. Covering his head, wearing bangles, and dressing as a woman, Bullhe danced near the mosque Inayat frequented. Bullhe sang:

“Your love has set me dancing in rhythm…My dear friend shows me the Kaaba and the Qibla….Bullha, let us go and sit at the gate of Shah Inayat, who made me dress in green and red. When I started dancing, I found my way to him.”
-Bullhe Shah, “Tere Ishq Nachaaya”

Without looking at him, Inayat recognized Bullhe Shah. They stayed together until Inayat passed. Some read Bullhe’s poetry and see the relationship with Inayat as telling of the respect given to a Sufi master from a student. While this may be true, matching how Bullhe refers to Inayat as his lord and how Bullhe describes his societal rejection related to his feelings for Inayat makes the platonic relationship seem unlikely.

Referring to the way he loves, the way he lives, Bullhe often writes of himself as an infidel, or “kafir.” An English translation of a popular verse:

“I am neither a believer in the mosque, nor do I follow the rites of unbelief.”

Queer Khalifa's Abdullah and Inayat meet after ten years of distance. The immediate recognition without seeing each other directly is at the heart of the love story in Queer Khalifa. Bullhe Shah's poetry remains pressed in modern Punjabi culture, having influenced various mediums with varying recognition of the depths of his love for Inayat.

“Tere Ishq Mein Nachenge” song from “Raja Hindustani” (1996) starring Amir Khan and Karisma Kapoor and “Chaiyya Chaiyya”/“Thaiyya” song from the film “Dil Se” (1998) starring Shah Rukh Khan borrow verses from Bullhe Shah’s “Tere Ishq Nachaaya” which he sang and danced to when courting Inayat after twelve years. “Bullya” song from “Ae Dil Ae Mushkil” (2016) starring Ranbir Kapoor and Aishwariya Rai (left) is titled after Bullhe Shah.

Pakistan’s Coke Studio has featured many artists singing verses taken from Bullhe Shah’s poetry. Artists include Ali Zafar, Sain Zahoor, Noori, Arieb Azhar, Hadiqa Kiani, Ahmed Jahanzeb, Umair Jaswal, Rizwan Butt, Sara Haider, Fareed Ayaz, and Abu Muhammad Qawal & Brothers.

On
Bullhe Shah

I made Queer Khalifa because I wanted to explore a reality where people like me can hope that with a little bit of effort, their love stories can cross the boundaries of cultural pressures.

While the film does not reflect my own story, it is specific to my experiences. As such, the representation a queer Muslim life, especially a trans one, does not define the demographics as a whole. The goal of this film is to inspire compassion for those with backgrounds different from our owns and resilience in our individual journeys.

Most notable is Abdullah's reference to his testosterone as the reason for why he does not have pads. At the time, I had been nearly two years off of testosterone following my egg-freezing. Two weeks after filming, there was an issue securing my testosterone and I had went without it for a week, only to get a cycle again.

There have been times where I had a cycle and it hadn't been because I was out of testosterone or my levels were low. Sometimes I just had a cycle. And it sucked.

But Abdullah's main reason for rebuffing Inayat's comment about having pads is the insecurity that she doesn't validate his identity. After all, she asks after making it hyperaware that he has to take testosterone and apply scar cream.

It's understandable that Abdullah's comment in the film isolates those who take testosterone and still have period. Abdullah's comments were about protecting himself, even at the expense of misrepresenting others like him. While he has these flaws, his existence in the film is not to stand in for all trans experiences, just his.

On
Transness

Cast & Crew

Starring: Ayesha Saleh, Sanam Erfani, Asif Shem Alli, Simbal Karma, Danial Gondal, Faria Ali, Saleem Gondal, Zoha Gondal and Nasir Gondal.
Cinematography by: Imran Vasanwala.
Sound Production: Jaime Osvaldo Rivera Santana.
Assistant Director: Yasmeen El-Nagar.
Hair & Makeup: Gurjeet Kaur.

Gaffer: Simbal Karma
Production Assistant: Saleem Gondal

Preview through the
Trailer

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